Parenthood (1989)

"... You need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

Parenting is never an easy job. Yet, many believe that parenting is instinctual and people are expected to behave like parents once they become one. Thus, the best a parent can do is to learn from mistakes. Some people might have a smooth parenting experience while some might be having headache to even have their children fed. At the end of the day, the parenting style one adopts plays a vital role in one's parenting experience. Parenthood (1989) is a movie that portrays parents with different parenting styles.

Permissive parenting style is evident in Frank, Gil and Larry's father. Frank left Gil alone in a baseball stadium with an usher to watch over him during Gil's birthday when he was only a child. When Frank thought that Gil had Poliomyelitis, he hated Gil because he did not like the responsibility of a parent to cater for Gil's illness. Frank's permissive neglectful parenting style has left a great impact on Gil and Gil is determined enough to not be like his father. He wished to be a good father with strong, happy, and confident kids.

At the same time, Frank's permissive indulgent parenting is seen in the ways he treats Larry, his youngest son. Frank experiences refilling of the empty nest when Larry moves back to the house with a son named Cool. Although both his wife and he know that there must be a hidden agenda for Larry's return, Frank still welcomes Larry back. When he finds that Larry is on a huge debt, he agrees to pay off Larry's debt with the condition that Larry stays and handles the family business. However, when Larry suggests another plan to go to Chile and leaves Cool with Frank to be taken care of, he is just being permissive and lets Larry leaves although he knows that Larry will never return home until he faces financial problem again. After all, his indulgence towards Larry is his way of loving his son. Moreover, this event reflects Larry's neglectful parenting style as well.

Parenting role in Frank's family seems to be male dominated as Frank's wife is being passive about everything all the time. Besides, Frank does not discuss his dilemma of whether to help out Larry on his debt with his wife. Instead, he turns to his son, Gil. This shows the dominance Frank holds in parenting.

In addition, Helen falls on the continuum between authoritative and permissive indulgent parenting styles. As a single mother, she always tries her best to get in touch and talk to her children. She does not place much control on her children besides wanting Julie, her daughter to score good in college. Although she feels frustrated at Julie's misconduct of having premarital sex, she voices her worries about Julie when she leaves the house. Perhaps, her slight indulgence is due to her fear of losing the children since they are her closest.

Furthermore, authoritarian parenting style is observed from Nathan. Nathan has strict rules and schedule for his daughter, Patty. He never allows her to involve in non-educational activities or self-stimulating behaviors like Justin's (Gil's son) "spinning around" and "knocking things with head". He wants Patty to get the best exposure as a child and this has led to the marital conflict with his wife, who finds his fixation on Patty's cognitive development absurd. 

Lastly, both Gil and Karen show an authoritative parenting style. They are very attentive to their children and are especially concerned when they find that their children might have some developmental issues. Gil dresses in cowboy costume and entertains Kevin and his friends during Kevin's birthday party while Helen calms Kevin down when he is freaking over the loss of his retainer. At the same time, Gil places demand on Kevin to make him play the baseball. They want their children to grow as a competent one and yet allowing them the freedom to enjoy their childhood.

"There is no end... I'm 64 and Larry's 27... and he's still my son."

Parenting will never end. Once you are a parent, you hold the responsibility for a lifetime. Marriage life without children can be easy and less demanding, like a merry-go-round. However, the hardships and the burdens of parenting can be satisfying. After all, parenting is like a roller coaster ride, which is exhausted but excited at the same time.

 

"You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster... Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!... I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."